String Cheese Theory

I don't think there's anything more peaceful and harmonious as eating string cheese.

Think about it: when you get a chance to just sit down, and have no worries, no one bothering you, no place to be, no limits on your time, and you can enjoy some cheese, delicate string by delicate string - you feel so detached from everything and all your worries are little blips in the distance.

It's a marvelous feeling.

One night during Christmas break, Abby and I were sitting in the front room. Devn was at work, the kids had just been put in bed, and we were craving some normalish food after a few days of sweet treats and salts snacks. So Abby got each of us a string cheese, and we sat peacefully on the floor, each of us encompassed by our own little worlds of quiet and non-thought.

I sat there on the ground, my legs pretzel-style, rocking slightly, back and forth, to the soft tune of my breathing, the beat from my heart. I had no thoughts in my mind beyond noticing the slivers of cheese that broke off each other, my only concerns in the world being which string I would work on between the three divisions I had inadvertantly created in my stringing of the cheese.

I was completely unaware of the world around me. It was quite an experience of relaxation. I had released any worries, concerns, sorrows, problems, frustrations, and whatever other negative energy that had previously resided in me.

I'm pretty sure I had reached Nirvana, that state so many others seek through expensive and extensive processes and steps.

If only they knew it was so easily attainable. By a simple purchase of string cheeses!

Abby dreamily expressed the same one-ness with the world - something she rarely feels with 3 kids running around.

Ironically, the same product that brings me such harmony with Nature and takes me so far out of my world is the very same thing that can cause me such stress if I'm not given an unlimited amount of time to enjoy it.

I'm a stringer of my string cheese. I cannot bite into my string cheese. I look on in horror when I see another belittle his string cheese in such a callous, criminal fashion. But because I can't bite string cheese, it necessarily takes me quite a bit of time to eat it - and when I'm given less than quite a bit of time, I feel panicked and anxious and completely stressed out. I try to pull thicker strings of cheese to eat it faster, but then I naturally pull smaller strings from the thicker string with my teeth when I try to bring the thicker string to my mouth. It's really just not possible for me to eat it quickly.

Am I even making sense? No, don't answer that...

All I know is that for a brief 30 minutes, as 2010 came closer to an end, I enjoyed complete peace and felt a total harmony with everything. For a short time, I was fully content.

And the next time I am stressed and worried, I will set aside an hour in order to give me plenty of time to reach Enlightenment through the eating of blessed string cheese, the healer of all wounds and destroyer of all worries.