Monday night I killed a millipede that was running on the wall by my sink as I brushed my teeth.
I yelled at it after smacking it with my flip flop, pleading with the all the bugs listening to stay out of my house - if they would just stay outside, I wouldn't kill them.
I really hoped that message would sink in.
Yesterday morning, a giant cricket jumped into the bathtub as I showered. It kept struggling to climb and hop to the top of the bathtub while I stood still as a statue, silently freaking out about what to do while shampoo ran into my eyes. Then, all of his energy spent, a final hop didn't get him as high as he planned, and he rebounded into the sitting water in the tub. Horrified, I struggled between angst for the flailing bug and horror at the idea of him slowly floating into my foot.
And then suddenly, the cricket stopped moving.
Surprisingly, to me, that affected me a lot - definitely more than my own killing of the nasty millipede only the night before.
I've come away from that with two insights from that 12 hours of death I experienced:
1. Drowning is infinitely worse than anything else. I freak out about the thought of drowning, and even just watching a bug - one that I had been debating on how to kill just seconds before - go through such a terrible fate scarred me for the entire day. I'm pretty sure I'm still a little traumatized.
2. All bugs and insects that want to live should STAY OUTDOORS. I cannot stress this enough to the bug and insect community. I know it seems scary and dangerous outside, but your chances of survival are 98.6% better if you remain outside than if you come into my residence. You may scurry, trying to get out of my eyesight, but I will see you - and I will kill you. Or, I will get someone else to kill you, after you've been trapped under tupperware for 24 hours or so. But it will come. I'm trying to do you a favor here - do not come into my room, my bathroom, my hallway, or anywhere else in here, and you will not suffer death by my hands.
Let this proclamation be heard by all.
2 comments:
Dear Kate,
As you well know, I work for the Church's Translation Division. I think the issue that you have with these bugs is that they can't understand your language! Communication is key when you need to get a message across. So, for now, your number 1 priority is to figure out some sort of language that you can communicate to these bugs in. Otherwise, how are they suppose to know that coming indoors will kill them? If we can translate your STAY OUTDOORS OR DIE message into their language, i'm sure both our world and the world of bugs will be infinately better.
I HATE crickets!! You're lucky you didn't have to kill it, it is not a pleasant experience.
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