Day 3: ZACH

Being around Zach is kind of like watching a variety show: it's very loud and really exciting, often accompanied by fireworks, sometimes quite random, and I find myself smiling and laughing the entire time. 

When he and the other two Barlow brothers are all together, I gladly revert to my 7-year-old self and just follow them around everywhere, cry-laughing at all they say and do, content to just be the audience to their hilarity. Contrary to the middle child stigma, he's a star - nobody puts Zach in the corner. He's just so quick on the draw. Sometimes when I lack a witty retort, I think, "what would Zach say?" And when I play trivia, I usually brag about how my brother is the king of trivia and he basically knows everything. So take that, everyone else!

With Zach, everything is exciting, and everything is a party. And basically every picture I have of him shows that. He's such a good host and I love that his home is always open for a palooza at any moment.

Zach has also become such a sweetheart with his little family of girls. I've always known him to be really funny and witty - but I'm also really loving this tender side, too. He adores his princesses and they completely adore him back. 

He's smart, he's stylish, he's sometimes completely silly. I just love him.

Day 2: GRACE

This little babe started my (not used enough by the little kidlets with their little kidlet lisps) nickname Aunt Cake. If I recall, it was a number of years ago, when Ben's family and I were in Utah, visiting the parentals, and she couldn't quite say Kate, so she ended up calling me Aunt Cake, and I basically wanted her to address me by name every second after we noticed it. We also got delicious ice cream shakes one night and Laura and I somehow miraculously got them all home balanced in a box without completely spilling everywhere. But that's another story.

Grace is also a youngest sibling kindred spirit with me. I still often think of the picture Laura sent me once when she found her one morning sitting in their closet reading a book by the light of the closet overhead bulb - my heart grew three sizes hearing that. When she was a little smaller, her flyaway hair and flushed cheeks hearkened back to some pictures of me at that age and I loved having that connection with her - my own little mini-me for a brief moment in life.

She's always been quick to sit on my lap or near me, and I'm crossing my fingers that doesn't end any time soon. She's a soft-spoken ball of sweetness and she sees the good in everything around her. She's a total cheeser for the camera, which kills me every time.

She's also killer at volleyball (!!!) and I can't wait to get to one of her games when the season starts again! And did I tell you about the time we went bowling and she just grabbed the bowling ball, walked up to the line, and totally crushed it, first time? Girl is fearless.

xoxo Gracie Girl.

Day 1: LIBBY LOO

Let's start with this little cutie. Mainly because I came across this picture and remembered how much I love it. And how much I loved the moment. It was during my annual Walworth County Fair visit (the term annual is being used liberally here, so don't try to correct me); Chloe and Libby were the only ones brave enough to tackle the ferris wheel with me and Chris - and the views of Elkhorn from the top are breathtaking (the term breathtaking is also being used liberally here). Libby sat exactly right next to me. And we made it through the swaying ride together. And later that weekend, we had a bonfire in the backyard, and Libby fell asleep on my lap, and I wanted to die of sweetness, it was so precious.

This girl is just a bundle of contagious smiles, and I'm so into her. She's vivacious and she's the youngest and she plays the part so well. I feel a kindred spirit with her in that role, though she plays the starring role more than I think I did, and she's hilarious in that spotlight. I love that she gets along with all of her siblings and that she already knows what she likes and how she likes it. She's got such great one-liners and when I can spend a whole evening just making her laugh, I'll always take that opportunity.

I just wish she would stay little forever, but I wished that for all her older siblings, too, and they cruelly ignored my wishes, so I'm steeling myself for her following their example. But if she wouldn't mind putting it off just a bit longer, at least, that'd be okay with me.

xoxo, little girl.

25 Days of Barlows

Dear Family -

Since you're basically the only ones who read this blog (you can pronounce "read" in the present or past tense, it means the same thing these days), I'm using this as a space for a more specific, special spot to take on a project I came up with, which I think perhaps you'll like.

If you count the numbers of our immediate family members (parents, kid siblings, spouses, and kid siblings' kids), you'll find that we are at a perfect 25 (I really hope that's right, I did the math a number of times, so if I'm forgetting anyone, we can just say it's me). And I thought it would be fun to document my feelings about everyone - don't worry, it's all positive. So I'm doing what I like to call the 25 Days of Barlows! It's my Christmas gift to my blog. So, basically a gift to myself. I know, I'm very thoughtful.

I've found that daily goals are not a strength of mine, but if I can figure out how to brush my teeth daily - twice even! - I can figure out how to write a cutesy blog post daily as well. Nothing too long or fancy, mainly just a couple pictures, perhaps a memory or experience that comes to mind at the exact moment, and a comment or two. Maybe longer depending on how my mental juices are flowing -  who knows, really, this is as much of an adventure for me as it is for you! I guess we'll all just see where it takes us!

Are you guys in for this ride with me? It starts tomorrow, so I hope so! I've picked family members at random, so you'll just have to come check it daily to see if I've thought about you yet (ha!). Feel free to comment with your own stories and positive feelings about the person of the day! I like to hear your stories about each other as much as I like to hear my own, maybe even more so, so I'd love it if this became a more community post rather than just me rambling on...we all know I'm prone to rambling, and it can get quite boring if no one stops me. Like right now! Here I go! Can't stop won't stop!!

Ok, I'll stop. But come back tomorrow, and let's start celebrating us! Because if the Barlows are anything, they're definitely meek and humble, so we certainly earned this attention right now.

xoxo,
kate

2016 Summer Olympics: Athletes to Watch

Ok party people, it's my favorite time of every 4 years - the Summer Olympics are here! They start tonight, and I suddenly decided this afternoon that I need a 'watch' list again - so I've picked a few people out of the many athletes I am so pumped about. There are so many other amazing athletes I didn't get to mention, mainly because I don't have time to write about the 554 US athletes individually, and also because I don't have time to research the other international athletes before the Opening Ceremonies in 20 minutes...

So those many other impressive athletes will have to come to our attention as we enjoy the next 14 days of inspiration, perspiration, deep heartbreak, and infectious jubilation. But for now, here are a few of my fave US Olympic Athletes to Watch:

Kerry Walsh Jennings and April Ross - beach volleyball
I've always loved Kerry Walsh, and her former partner Misty May, they've been so exciting to watch for so many years. The unstoppable duo took gold last Olympics, beating April Ross and her partner, in May's final competitive game before retiring. Walsh Jennings and Ross are now competing together in this Olympics, and I'm looking forward to seeing if the chemistry these former opponents have together will strengthen their individual talents to create a new unstoppable duo.

Ibtihaj Muhammad - Fencing
Ibtihaj Muhammad will be the first US athlete to compete wearing a hijab. This is rather impressive to me for a number of reasons: 1. I sweat profusely, so the idea of wearing more layers during athletic competition sounds extra difficult, plus it could be cumbersome - and she's wearing one while being in the top of her sport. 2. I love to see that athleticism is indifferent of religion or race or gender - she's amazing at what she does, and she also is fully committed to her faith. It's so great when someone can be obvious in their beliefs. She gets to be such a positive influence and example during these Games, and I can't wait to see the great focus they will give her for her unique position in this Games. Also, fencing is just really cool to watch, so watching the elite is always amazing.

The Women's gymnastics team - all of them!
But particularly Simone Biles, because we've never seen her in the Olympics before. Biles has had amazing success in the World Championships and other national and international competitions. But the Olympic Games is a different beast. Gabby Douglas and Aly Raisman have proven that they can handle the Olympic spotlight; Simone is darling, and will be so fun to watch - it will be so enjoyable to watch her succeed and show the world she can handle all their expectations and hopes on her 4'8 high shoulders. And if we don't win the team competition, then it's because all 5 of the girls broke their legs (please don't do that!) - and we've seen before that the US team can even overcome those types of setbacks (hello Keri Strug!)

Ashton Eaton - Track & Field
Eaton is my favorite human being I've never met of all time. I've always said this, and now I realize most everyone else in the sports world says this, too, but decathletes are basically the best athletes in the world - their all-around ability in sprints, distance, strength, and flexibility shows in all the variety of events they have to compete in, and to be a good decathlete is so impressive. To be a great decathlete? Amazing. And Ashton Eaton has not only won the decathlon for the last 4 years of world competition, but he consistently wins or places in each of the events! He's not just coasting to a victory by being great at some events and decent at others; he's basically a boss everywhere. And because of his record-setting gold medal last Olympics, he will be highly visible during this one. Can't wait to watch him in action again, he's such a freaking stud.

Vashti Cunningham - Track & Field
Vashti is the daughter of US Football star Randall Cunningham, and he has been on the sidelines of all her track & field meets as she has become a young star in high jump. Despite being just 18 years old, she is a favorite to make the podium. She's just so fun to watch - she's so limber and tall, and she flows over that high jump pole like butta. I have a soft spot for the high jump, and I can't wait to see her and her dad get some of the Olympic spotlight as she makes a name for the US on this international platform.

Sydney McLaughlin - Track & Field
Sydney McLaughlin is 16 years old, and the youngest track star to compete on the team since 1972! She's running in the women's 400m hurdles, a race I watch more closely than others might, as it makes my heart race just thinking about it - having run the 300m hurdles in high school, I know the strenuous nature of a long hurdle race; adding another 100m to it would have literally killed me. So I consider athletes who run this race to be some of the strongest in the world. Hyperbole? Perhaps, but this is my 'watch' list, so I can say what I want. The race is half mental, to keep your focus and your strength through the whole thing, so to be a 16 year old qualifying and contending is super impressive. She may not win the whole thing, but she will be fun to watch anyway.

US Men's 4x100 team - Track & Field
The US men's 100 meter dash field is like an abundance of riches - but in the individual 100m, Usain Bolt is still the man they're all chasing. But depth becomes an advantage in the relay, and 4 amazingly fast sprinters stand a chance to overwhelm Bolt and his compatriots. The sprint relays are always the most exciting races to watch anyway, but Jamaica took the gold in London, and the US hasn't won since 2000. They didn't place in the 2015 world championships, but looked great in the recent Penn relays, so if they can have clean handoffs, they could be a surprise.

Michael Phelps - Swimming
I mean, he's always so fun to watch, with such talent and body to be exciting anytime he's in the water. But I'm adding him to this list particularly because I'm watching an interview he did with Bob Costas right now and he's discussing being just out-touched in the 200m butterfly by Le Clos of South Africa in London, and how he's looking forward to racing him again. Apparently Le Clos won that race in the 2015 World Championships and said that Phelps had discussed how he should've beaten Le Clos, but he hasn't beaten him in 4 years, so he can stay quiet now - and I suddenly needed Phelps to beat him this time! Also, Phelps wasn't allowed to participate in the 2015 WC, but in his next race, he swam the fastest 200m fly of the year...so, take that, Le Clos!

Honorable Mentions:
Allyson Felix - Track & Field (always, because I love her); Kerron Clement - Track & Field (because the 400 m hurdles is HARD and he's just so cute);

Special Shout-Out: THE REFUGEE TEAM
In the best spirit of the Games, the Refugee team will compete under the Olympic flag. A team with no country, they are participating for themselves, for their families, and for the world. They will prove to everyone that an Olympian is about heart and desire, not about boundaries and governments. The Olympics is a competition, sometimes the most fierce of competitions, but it's also so much about inclusion and equality. The seasoned veterans compete against the fresh newbies; the men and the women are equally competitive and impressive; and the big countries cannot overlook the small countries, or even the country-less, because one person can make such a difference here at the Games.

At the Olympics, it's not always the competition winners who are the most fun to watch. The inspirational and the motivational are often the biggest winners of them all!

SO LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

A Silly Essay About a Gummy Worm Friend

I first saw it there on the sidewalk a couple weeks ago – the bright red/orange stripes of the gummy worm confirmed it had only recently arrived at that patch of concrete near the bench and the bike rack. It felt so shockingly out of place to my eyes among its drab surroundings – the vibrant color clashed against the beige/brown/gray of the sidewalk. It kept my attention and brought a smile to my face, though I couldn’t say why.

I assumed it wouldn’t be there long, thought it might be gone when I walked by the next day. I’d pictured some bird noticing it and picking it up, whether in confusion that perhaps it was a real worm (and being – in my mind, pleasantly – surprised by it’s very different taste), or with the hope that it would provide a functional and fashionable use in its nest somewhere above. Maybe a squirrel would make off with it, unsure of why. I wondered if I was the only one to notice it and it might get trampled and kicked and moved from the general flow of foot-traffic on that sidewalk. Though I hoped against it, my imagination even allowed the thought of a little child picking it up to eat – and then I included an attentive parent quickly stripping it from the child’s eager hand and throwing it away.

But it was still there in the exact same spot when I walked by the next day. And the day after that. And the day after. I started looking for it each day, conscious of the spot ahead of me as I walked to the metro from work every evening. A whole week, and nothing had changed, except the vividness of the gummy worm’s colors had dimmed a little from dust.

The weekend came and, as happened roughly 2 minutes after I walked away from the worm each day, I completely forgot about it. I didn’t think of it once. Monday morning, I went to work, my mind full of the must-do’s and worries of the next 8 hours. But as I walked away that evening, I came to the spot of the gummy worm, still there, perfectly molded in its trademark S curve, just as it had always been. My shock surprised me – it was a mixture of surprise that it was still there; surprise at how exactly the same, yet so very different it was from the last time I saw it; surprise that I even cared so much to notice it. The worm was still in perfect shape, with no damage to its body, completely whole. But oh, how different it looked all covered in dust, with tiny pebbles sticking at random points! The reds and oranges that first caught my eye, so stifled under the accumulated dirt of the street, now dulled and dreary to the casual passer-by. A glory that the World was slowly snuffing out.

I chided myself for being so delicate, but I was heartbroken for the worm – for the 20 seconds that I remembered it. But, as it had been everyday before, my worries of crossing the street, catching the train, making it home took over my thoughts and the worm’s plight was quickly forgotten in light of more pressing (and dare I say legitimate) concerns.

Still, I continued to look for it each evening as I left work - and it continued to be there when I passed. I wondered if it could ever be moved, or if it would just become a permanent fixture to that sidewalk – it’s own little monument, in a city of monuments. And I worried that it would be there always, until one day it wasn’t, and what if when that day came, I didn’t notice? What if the day it disappeared from the sidewalk, it also disappeared from my mind, from my memory? Would I grieve? Would I even remember?

But in all my brief daily musings, I hadn’t considered the possibility of yesterday. Yesterday, as I drew near to the worm’s place, I noticed a change – the worm’s shape was somewhat deflated, and it seemed surrounded in a soft halo of brilliant red and orange. A call to its former life, and yet still an old, grey gummy. Two lives at once.

The gummy worm was melting.

Yesterday was hot and humid, for apparently the first time in weeks, and Nature attacked that gummy worm with its might. Knowing first-hand just how wilting DC humidity can be, I knew the poor worm hadn’t stood a chance against it. While it would not be affected by Man, one cannot fight Nature.

And yet. Its life was slowly fading away – no, not fading, radiating brilliance as it slipped away to another form. The gummy glowed in testament to the vibrancy of its resilience and its absolute beauty. The dirt and dust of the street could not overcome the worm’s true qualities. In the World, all things must end, but the World will not End them. I felt inexplicable strength and peace as I watched the gummy worm’s end come in brilliant pools of colorful glory. No matter how the world may try to cover me or hide my light, it will still be there in me, and it can break through however many layers may try to block it out, as long as I am true to myself and confident in who I am.

The gummy worm was gone today. I drew close to the spot, searching for the familiar shape, and the sidewalk was clear. No bright colors dying the sidewalk stones, nothing at all to say a gummy worm had lived a lifetime there. I worried that I was looking in the wrong place – had I missed it? Was it further down the sidewalk? Did I really not remember where it had been these many days?

No, I knew – it just wasn’t there.  And I allowed myself a small smile – rich in complexity of sorrow and peace and joy. As much as I missed the dependable sight of my friend, I joyed in its escape from monotony. It was no longer stuck – it was now on the move, whether as a tangible being or muddled in the air and moisture around me, perhaps it didn’t matter. It was free from the weight of that sidewalk and could set its sights on greater futures, and I walked away knowing that perhaps I could be free to, as well. 

My Enemy, the Bee

I was assaulted by a bee today.

It was my lunch break. I had left to get a sandwich, and it was a nice Autumn day - especially warm-feeling after a week of windy cold. So I stopped at a table in the gardens by my office, anticipating a relaxing lunch with a book I wanted to finish.

I settled down at the table, spread out my picnic, and opened my book. A few minutes later, I looked up and saw I had a visitor - a large bee was circling my sandwich. I recognized this bee from other times of attempted picnics in that area, and I told it to buzz off, knowing it wouldn't listen to me. I swatted the air around it, hoping to coax it into thinking a breeze was carrying it away, but it was determined. After a few send-offs from me, it disappeared and I hoped victory had come my way, as I returned to reading.

But Fate is capricious, and though she seemed to be on my side at the start  of the day, I found her suddenly turned against me.

The bee returned.

I may as well have been trying to keep separate two powerful magnets, in dissuading the bee from seeking my sweet sandwich. They would not be parted. After a few dance moves on my part, and likely a few intrigued glances from distant neighbors at other tables, I gathered my belongings, and I left the table, looking back to confirm the bee had been left behind. The worry that I had accidentally swept up the fiend with my food was one I wanted to dispel quickly; my fear was unfounded, though, as I saw the bee flutter in the air near the table as I walked away.

I had a nightmare once when I was a child, about a swarm of killer bees coming after me, attacking me. It had only been a dream, but I've been weary of all bees since then. Though I had left this bee behind, it would not leave my mind. I found my appetite somewhat diminished as I sought refuge from the enemy.

Moving almost halfway across the courtyard, I stopped at a bench that was devoid of surrounding flowers and plants - just the place to hope for a quiet, bug-free lunch. I settled down again, pulled out the rest of my sandwich, and set my book next to me to be picked up once I finished eating. I hoped to eat somewhat quickly, just in case.

But bees are not the only demons that prey on picnickers.

As I sat looking at the fountain in front of me - the water had just started spraying out after a worker had finished unclogging its drain - a gray squirrel scampered near my bench. It bounced from place to place - and then stopped. A few feet from me. It looked up. Then it took a few steps, and remained a few feet from me.

And then it took a few more steps.

It crept closer.

The squirrel was clever, and not one to be caught in a trap. It was also not one to be too aggressive, knowing the danger of being too obvious. It twitched from side to side, slowly creeping up on me, not daring to move too quickly.

My first impression of goodwill toward this animal was quickly replaced by anxiety and surprise. Already feeling on my guard towards nature in general, I was not excited to fight another animal for the right to eat my lunch. I stomped my foot to shoo the squirrel away, and it jumped back a few steps, but did not leave. I looked at it, and it stared at my lap. I stomped again, extending my foot a little further, and it jumped back again. We maintained this stand-off for a bit, as I tried to get rid of the prize with faster bites.

Soon, however, I tired of the harassment this creature inflicted on me, and I stomped my foot even closer to it, and it jumped back even more, then ran under the bench and I watched it run to a nearby tree, and then a further off bush.

I finished off the sandwich, put the wrapping in my paper lunch bag, and finally picked up my book again to try to enjoy a fraction of my lunch break still. I had only made a dent of two pages in my reading, and I wanted to know what was about to happen!

But the book would have to wait for another lunch break - mine was being forced to end right then.

The bee had found me.

It came up quickly, buzzed right past me, and settled into a circle pattern just above my Orange Crush drink next to me. With a grunt of shock, I retried my previous efforts in flicking it away and shooing it gone.

It would not be pushed aside.

The bee bounced between my drink and my lunch bag, searching for the sweet smells it felt sure were exotic flowers from faraway lands. This poor bee was undaunted in its quest for the scent it had locked on. And it was driving me crazy.

So I gave up. I packed up my book, grabbed my purse, my lunch bag, and my drink, and began walking away, checking like last time that I was not carrying the bee with me. I was going back to my office, leaving a failed lunch break behind me.

I glanced behind me, and I received the confirmation that I had not trapped the pesky bee in my bag - but I also had not left it behind. It was hot on my trail, sometimes scaring me by disappearing near my hair or on my jacket. I couldn't be sure where it was, and I increased my speed to distance myself, just short of jogging - my pride kept me from letting the other picnickers nearby watch me run from an unseen attacker.

The nightmares of my childhood had become real life. I brushed at the air around my shoulders as I walked, waved over my head to clear myself from the bee's possible presence. I stopped looking back, only trusting that the concrete building's cold, lifeless atmosphere would persuade the bee to continue no further with me.

As I got close to my building, I felt confident that the bee had been left behind in the gardens, likely seduced by the scents of real flowers as we breezed by them. I returned to my office, relieved but grumpy. The beautiful day had been destroyed in my mind. Nature had ruined nature for me this day.

Finishing my lunch at my desk, I promised myself I would not be kept again from eating outside on beautiful days by such a tyrant as this bee. I had met this bee before, I realized, as I recalled a lunch weeks ago that had also been cut short. It was the bane of my lunching.

This bee has thwarted my happiness two times now, but I will not let it conquer anymore.

Our third meeting, Bee, will see me as victor of the gardens!