It feels like it hasn't happened too often lately, but maybe that's because I've been better at leaving work while rush hour is still happening, so I've been surrounded by hordes of businessmen and daily commuters too much.
But today 3/4 of DC shut down, due to dangerous white snowflakes lightly falling from the sky as though in a dream, from between about 7am - 11am, so most of my usual comrades were tucked snugly in their homes enjoying a rare family dinner together at 6:30pm while I was on my way home from work this evening.
And perhaps I should be grateful for that, because with so many people around usually, you have less opportunity to be chatted up by charming disheveled young men with dreads and a missing tooth. I've been missing those moments lately, so I was glad to finally get some attention tonight.
I was walking to my normal spot to catch my connecting train at the metro when I caught his eye.
With no rush to catch the train since it was still 4 minutes away, and no crowds to push me too uncomfortably close to the edge of the platform, I suppose I looked a little more serene and calm than usual, and I was walking with a slight smile on my face as I indulged in all the space I had around me. As I passed a youngish man, I felt him look at me as he said, "how you doing, beautiful?"
Alas, I caught his words in my ear too late, for I had already passed him by with not even a glance of my eyes toward him!
I stopped at my usual spot about 10 feet away from him, hoping the train would come soon as I pulled out my phone to read an email while I waited. As I stood there, I could see out of the corner of my eye that my unknown paramour was coming toward me. Wondering whether he was about to come and steal my phone (it's a constant worry in the back of my head, due to the continual voice recordings at the metro warning you to keep you phone tight in hand or put away so no one steals it…c'mon people!) or hit on me, I kept my eyes locked on my screen, my phone in a vice-like grip.
And then I hear, "how you doing, beautiful?"
I parried with, "Good, how are you?"
Mon amour cut right to the chase:
lover: "You married? Got a husband?
me: "Uh, no. But I'm in a relationship*."
I thought that might've been the end, but to my surprise, the dance continued:
lover: "Could you have a friend?"
me: "Could I have a friend? Uh, yeah, I guess…"
lover: "How about you get my phone number and I'll get yours and we'll talk and stuff sometimes?"**
me: "Oh, ha, I don't think my boyfriend would like that too much" {smiles apologetically}
lover: {smiles charmingly} "Oh, but it'd just be as friends. Right? That's not okay?"
me: "I'm sorry! But I think I'll have to decline*** this time. But thank you!"
lover: {smiles graciously} "Okay, have a good night, take care."
me: "Have a good one" {smiles awkwardly}
And then he walked off - my chance for happiness walked away and out of my sight. On to the next beautiful lady.
I don't regret my decision. I think it was for the best. I mean, what did I have to offer him? What could I have brought to the table anyway? I would've held him back. I couldn't make him happy.
But I really do hope his earnest search for friendship works out for him. There must be someone out there in need of a phone buddy - maybe he'll find them somewhere down that metro platform!
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*It took me about 10 years too long to realize this was always the right response, regardless of your actual relationship status - I only started answering that way naturally about 18 months ago…why I didn't just say yes to the married question is beyond me, since that's the ultimate right answer, but I get too nervous they'll call my bluff when I wasn't quick enough to move a ring to that finger, you know? Why I get nervous about their response is ridiculous. But that only seems fitting for me…
**Sadly, that might've worked on me about 2 years ago still. Not that I actually thought we'd become great friends, but more that I'd be too anxious and awkward to not just say "uuhhhh, okay" and give him my number. And maybe not even a fake number, because I wouldn't have been quick enough in the moment! Luckily, these conversations never really got to that point before, so I haven't had to worry too much about the consequences…I've been rather lucky most of my life, I'll just go ahead and say it.
***I actually said "decline" - how nerdy is that?! But super effective. He accepted that immediately. Let us never undervalue the power of that word!
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